I took a sick day yesterday. Being run down and just not feeling well, I decided to take a day to rest and relax- and catch up on some much needed trailer-time.

Alex Cross

Starring Tyler Perry as the hero/super star detective of the same name, I can tell you this: Hollywood is definitely having it’s way with this movie. And by “have it’s way”, I mean that it’s going to be more explosive, more action-packed than the novels. Am I saying it’s going to make it a bad movie? Not entirely. I think Perry is going to have to pull way far away from his Madea days to pull off the Cross character, which is entirely centric to having the film go out with a bang. The last attempt at an Alex Cross novel adaptation, Kiss The Girls, didn’t work out at all. First off, they cast Morgan Freeman, which being one of the most prolific African-American actors makes sense, but Cross is young-to-middle-aged, fit almost like a boxer. Cross had been hardened from the streets of DC, advanced in the ranks of the DC police through hardship and a LOT of personal grief. It’s almost sad to say, but Freeman didn’t really pull it off. Like everyone else on the planet, am a big fan of his work. Unfortunately, I think he just couldn’t rock Cross like as well as he needed to. His partner, Detective John Sampson wasn’t even cast well. Bill Nunn rocked it as Editor-in-Chief “Robbie” Robertson, but they thing is these guys are hardened. They’re built and ready to tumble, as they do a lot in th e book series, so it just doesn’t do any justice to the character(s) when one is old and seemingly busted up, while the other is girthy, yet overweight. If Morgan Freeman can’t even mange to give justice to the role, what makes anyone think Tyler Perry, who has found more fame as on elderly (and spry) woman, do anything with it? Just saying. Lot of pressure.

Another issue with that movie was they also decided to kill off one of his longtime nemesis (Gary Soneji) too early in the film and WAY too early in the series.  Lots of things went wrong with what should have been a solid adaptation. I like to think that they are going to pull this one off, but as I’ve mentioned, Perry needs to rock Alex Cross, first and foremost. The rest just needs to follow suit, ’cause I doubt that everyone in the theater has read the  most of the series and is as attached to the project as myself.  I have hopes for this one, I do. I just don’t want to hear any, ANY bit of Madea or I will be done forever with Tyler Perry.

Long story-short: this is really going to come down to Perry. Without a strong and viable lead, this is going to tank. Even if it’s not a good adaptation, if you have a decent enough character to carry the story, things tend to work out. Just at the Chronicles of Riddick. Horrible story, not

Taken 2

Here’s one of my biggest concerns- they’ll pull an Iron-Man 2 and let the studio do all of the decision making. Iron-Man 2 was supposed to be HUGE, with it’s close-ties to the character of Tony Stark and all of the connections to The Avengers film. But it wasn’t. It fell short of the first one by a landfall. It’s a good movie but pales in comparison to the first and it just didn’t do a good enough job telling the story. With Taken 2, we’ve seen this exact scenario in the last film. Granted, this time it’s the mother and maybe the daughter (the trailer leaves a little to the imagination on this one), if they decide to go the route of Boondock Saints 2 and make the exact same movie…eek. I shudder just thinking about that. Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day sucked. I’ll say it. I’m not afraid of it. But I am afraid of seeing Liam Neeson fail because of a studios decision to capitalize on his red-hotness and make the same damned movie. But then again, Taken 2 could go the way of The Bourne Supremacy and totally kick ass. It was essentially the same story, but there was enough variation and new developments that it was still pretty wicked. So, let’s hope it goes that route. Because really? The trailer looked pretty bomb. It’s Liam Neeson for crying outloud. I don’t think he can do any wrong, as well as most of the world would agree with me. He took on a pack of wolves, for crying out loud! After being lost and stranded in the Alaskan wilderness in the prime of it’s bitchiness!

Long story-short: I think with Liam Neeson in the lead, Taken 2 will be another awesome adventure. I have my restraints, but only because history tends to repeat itself and I pray Neeson doesn’t fall prey to Hollywood history.

Total Recall

Alright, it’s a remake/reimagining/re-something of a film that I, personally, didn’t think should have been redone. I still don’t. But if it’s done well enough and it’s a good enough time, I’m down. In the original, Arnold was some dude that didn’t think he was living the life we was meant to, so he goes into this “Total Recall” lab to give himself the fake memories of the life he thinks he wants. Turns out, his life was the fake life and it’s a confusing turn of events for a while until people start trying to kill him. Then you know shit just got real. Especially when he kills Sharon Stone because she tries to kill him- Oh no, don’t get pissy! You’ve had 22 years to see it and if you haven’t by now, let’s face it, you’re not going to. That is until you see this new one and want to see where it all started. Which you should stop being a nerfherder (yeah, just said that) and do anyway.

I was at the Recall panel at the SDCC last year and was able to see some bitchin’ previews of what’s coming up. They weren’t finished, so there were some gaps in graphics, actors, etc, but they did show some promise. One thing that was asked/mentioned was the presence of Mars in this new telling. Mars, as anyone knows, was a huge factor in the last film. It’s going to interesting to see how they roll this one out sans the martian planet. It almost shows more bravado for actually attempting to re-imagine a film and not simply remake it. It’s getting unbearable to see people “retell” a story when all it is is putting new faces to it. With that said, it’s going to be interesting to see how the writer’s are going to unravel the mystery that is Douglas Quaid.

What I’m looking forward to in the new Recall:

  • Director Wiseman’s “future”;
  • Kate Beckinsale;
  • The girl with 3 Boobs- let’s face it- that’s f*cking awesome;
  • The mindf*ck that comes with a film like Total Recall;
  • Bryan Cranston as Cohaagen;
  • What the hell that robot thing is.
Not looking forward to/worried about with the new Recall:
  • Jessica Biel- I said it! She’s hot, but not every role is meant to be played by a hottie with one facial expression;
  • John Cho’s bleached hair;
  • The real deal behind Farrell’s mind wipe- that it’s something bogus and not as awesome as restoring life to Mars;
  • The overabundance of special effects- I know, it’s the 21st century, I know! That’s no reason to forgo story and plot, no matter how awesome the explosions are. The original Recall was mostly practical sets and it was freaking amazing;
  • Whatever the hell that robot thing is- The only robot that really posed a threat to Arnold before was Johnny the Cab driver and that was plenty.
  • The lack of Kuato- ’nuff said.

Overall, when I first heard this got the greenlight, I was skeptical. After the panel and checking out the trailer, I’m still not overly jazzed ’bout it, being a big fan of the original; however, I think it’s got promise. If they can pull this one off, it might just give the “King of Remakes” a second chance at an A-list career.


Leave a Comment