Every one and their mother’s left boob have all been wanting ice-cream lately. As for myself? I crave it more than a vampire swoons for the flesh of a young virgin; I desire it more than the the proverbial fat kid and his beloved cupcake; I want it more than the prom queen wants the varsity quarterback after he threw the winning touchdown in the homecoming game.

It’s getting to the point where I’ve been concocting a special harness for my cat, which would serve as a milkshake carrier, so I can force him on milkshake runs against his puny cat-will. When I am too lazy to get off my ass and get a milkshake, there will be Yukon Cornilious: Milkshake Cat.

Patent pending. If anyone takes this idea, I will end you. And make my cat crap on your floor. Before you get home, so it’s the last thing you see. This isn’t a threat- it’s re-gawd-damned guaranteed.

Love youuuuuuuuuu…

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