I was going to write something about this weekend and what movie coming out is most likely going to take my money, but then while I was on IMDb, I noticed the new trailer for Dredd. I can’t say that I was uber-excited to see this in the first place, simply ’cause the first one was done well enough, but now, I’m even less inclined to see it based solely off this trailer. Yeah, that bad.

Well, ok, it might not be as bad as it seems, but the simple fact is a large portion of the trailer had to do with Dredd taking down the most powerful crimelord in Mega City by storming a huge-ass tower that is completely controlled by the crime-lord and filled to the brim with the cronies. Working from the ground up, he will constantly be outnumbered and outgunned, will probably lose his rookie-partner somewhere along the way, and it’ll probably turn out that someone from Dredd’s past will show up on the other-team, forcing a massive conflict of interest. How, Mike, do you know all this?

Because it is exactly like THE RAID: REDEMPTION. IN ENGLISH. Granted there is going to be build up to the tower scene in Dredd, as opposed to an all-out death extravaganza such as Raid, it still holds that this is the US’s response to such a sweet movie like Raid.

That’s my first big issue. My second issue stems from Karl Urban and his decision to “Bale” his Dredd i.e. completely overdo it on the gruff, macho nature of the protagonist. By “Bale”, I of course, am referring to Sir Christian “The Batman” Bale in Dark Knight. Really over the top, too gruff, too growly, just–overdone. Stallone had it down; stern, non-intimidated, troubled and defiant. I’m not necessarily saying Urban is going to blow it, ’cause it’s too early to tell, but if he talks through the entire movie as he did in the trailer..egads. It’ll be like Chris Evans in Scott Pilgrim, in which he was making fun of the typical action hero act. I’m not even going to touch on how horrific the dialogue is going to be since one of the main quotes from the trailer was “It’s judgement time”. Yep. They went there. The worst part is the director, Pete Travis, didn’t even write that out. Instead, he probably yelled “CUT!” and said, “Perfect, Karl, that was fucking PERFECT! That’s lunch, everyone!” True story.

Third issue: the uniforms look absolutely ridiculous. The helmets- awesome. Uniforms- not so much. Even the first round of Judges had gaudy costumes, but that was back when we had no idea of the future and it’s clothing. We still don’t but we sure as hell know that style, thus far, is not going the way of Back To The Future: Part II. Why? Because of movies like Back To The Future, Judge Dredd, Demolition Man- all these movies that were made back in the 80′s gave a sense of the futuristic style that worked as a subliminal messaging to all designers and consumers alike. Ready for that message? You’re lucky I still have my Little Orphan Annie decoder ring to make sure this message was translated correctly. Here it is:

“YOU’RE ALL GOING TO LOOK LIKE IDIOTS.”

Truth.

With that in mind, you think the fashionistas of Dredd would have done something to modernize the future’s outfits…better. They tried, and, well, they look like idiots.

I feel bad for Urban, in the same sense I feel bad for Taylor Kitsch. I like what they do, how they do it, and I’m not afraid to admit that. But neither of them have been able to successfully, truly carry a lead role. Urban’s last lead was in Pathfinder (2007) and we all know how that turned out (badly).

Here’s the low down. At the moment, I’m inclined to just…wait until the cheap theatre release and then check it out. Sorry, Karl. It’s not you- it’s me…

 

Take a look for yourselves at the ridiculousness.

Dredd (2012)


2 Comments

  1. Your followers are yearning for Another Short Date. Just sayin’………….

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