So much potential! So much…wasted potential! Here you have Ryan Reynolds (who makes a much better Hal Jordan than a Deadpool, in my opinion), Mark Strong, Peter Sarsgaard, and a hot lady…and yet Warner Bros. really fell short on the Green Lantern. Everyone knows it. In fact, I don’t even know why I’m writing about it right now. Maybe because it’s on and the only other movie I recognize is Hearts in Atlantis¬†and after the Good Girl, I’m not really ready for another downer.

Time to get to it.

First, they cast Blake Lively. As I mentioned above, is a hot lady. Can she act? No, no not really. Does she look good in everything she wore- you bet your sweet a$s she does. And that’s it.

Secondly, I understand it’s an origin story, but the fact remains Hal Jordan’s training was wicked short and wasn’t nearly as awesome as we all wanted it to be. He made swords? SWORDS?! Effin’ A- Sinestro backhanded the fool with a freaking brick wall; that fish guy made the most intricate slinky collage anyone has ever thought off; and Kilowog made a freakin SUN! Jebus!

Thirdly, Peter Sarsgaard wined too much. Like a fat kid that wasn’t fast enough to catch up with the ice-cream truck and missed out on all of the SpongeBob cream pops.

Fourthly, one of the buildings is named “Science Building“. That is just being lazy.

5thly, Blake Lively played too much of a roll in the film. Seriously. There is no reason she should have had nearly as big a part as she did. Hal Jordan is a Green FREAKIN Lantern, and instead of finding some a$s to kick after his first visit to Oa, he flies straight to the arms of this useless chicka, some old flame.

Sixth Point: I hated Hal Jordan’s eyes. It was…weird..to see Reynolds’ eyes dart around. Potentially, it’s because I’m just used to seeing the artists rendering his expressions via eyebrows and such. Granted that’s a comic book and it’s one panel at a time, I think with today’s technology and imaginative minds, there could have been a better solution to the eyeball situation with Jordan goes all “Green Lantern” and what not.

7: I get the uniforms and the modern feel to it, but I think a lot of people would agree with me- there is always room for the classics, am I right? Right. Reynolds is buff enough to wear the uniform, there was NO reason to make it CG.

Eightly: I could keep going. But I’m not going to. All I can say is if DC can work up enough support and backing to do a sequel, WB better do MUCH better this time. The origin is done with, even though you’ve killed off two of Jordans’ baddies in one fell swoop, there is a lot of room to make a better Green Lantern. The Green Lantern character is one of my personal favorites from the DC universe and to see his silver screen future come into that much jeopardy…well…it’s no bueno.

On a side note, why is it Reynolds is given really awesome characters to play, yet can never get them off the ground. Deadpool, one of my all-time favorite characters, was…ugh…I won’t even get to that. And now Green Lantern? C’mon, Hollywood. Stop sh*tting on my dreams.

That’s it. I had to do it. WB/DC..do better.

 

Love,

 

Mike

Ps: I borrowed this pic from Metal Arcade. Hope you don’t mind guys.


4 Comments

  1. Jason says:

    I agree on your review, this movie was terrible. Parallax was a garbage villain and most of the CG was bad. By the way, I don’t mind that you used the pic from my review on Metal Arcade, haha.

    • Mike says:

      That’s one of the things that bothered me- Parallax could have been SO much more. Instead, it was made into a flying poop-topus. Don’t even get me started on how weak it was they killed off Hammond in the first freaking movie. That guy goes places, does things, and his head didn’t even get to be a 1/18 of how huge it gets. Ridiculous.

      And yeah, those graphics were..eh…not so great. Especially considering it’s DC and Warner Bros, you think there would have been more energy put into that stuff. I mean, all DC has right now is Batman, particularly after Superman tanked AND Marvel has been spitting out a ton of superhero flicks (my GOD wasn’t Avengers amazing?!).

      What do you think about a/the sequel to Green Lantern? Thoughts on Reynolds?

      • Jason says:

        Well, you can read my full review here http://metalarcade.net/2011/07/green-lantern-review/

        I thought Reynolds was probably the best part of the movie. I thought it was a bad move to use Hammond at all, I’m not a fan of the comics, but he’s just one of those villains that look too ridiculous for the big screen. A friend showed me how parallax looks in the comics, he looked way cooler and they should have kept that design. As for the CG, it was really mixed, I thought Planet Oa looked amazing, but Parallax looked so,so terrible.

        And yes, Avengers was absolutely amazing, you can read my review of that here: http://metalarcade.net/2012/05/the-avengers-movie-review/

        • Jason says:

          As for a sequel, I doubt it will happen, even though they teased it in the after credits scene. But I agree, Warner needs to start treating what heroes it has better, or just hand them all off to Christopher Nolan, haha.

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