[From The Journal of M.B. Snowden]

June 9th, 2012. Short Date # 8. Kettle, Laura.

Adam was late getting ready. He was playing another one of his video games again. DC Universe Online, I think. Monika was getting all of her camera stuff together, and Aldrin was 3DS-ing with some nerds down the hall when Jasmine and I arrived. They still haven’t told me anything about the short date we were shooting except that the girl was a friend of theirs, Laura. Obviously, I asked if she was single; Jasmine slapped my arm. It didn’t hurt, but I told her it did so she didn’t do it again. Once Adam slapped some evil hoes around, we finally got around to leaving for Laura’s apartment. I’m anxious and excited to see what they’ve got in-store for the video, but nervous because Adam keeps laughing when he thinks about it. Time to go.

—-

Aldrin wrote down the wrong directions. Again. Wrong area completely. Fucking moron. Oh well, he bought a round of coffee , so it wasn’t a complete loss. He’s still an idiot though. We’re on our way, Laura…I think…

Laura’s nice. Short, sweet, and nice. They told her what was going to be going on, so she came to the door ready to rock (enter “HEYO”). The other Fools had a quick chat with Laura in the other room, while Jasmine and I were in the dining room. She kept asking me what was going to happen today and I kept answering with “I don’t know. Stop asking.” Then they came out, a huge list in hand, shit eating grins to the max.

—-

Chores. I was going to be doing chores. Not pretending to do them, no, legit doing here chores. Garbage- taking out; dishes- washing them shits; kitty litter- cripes, doing that too. I already do this on a daily basis, why on Odin’s green Jutenheim must I do them here. Oh well…the joys of having a publicly horrible dating life should hopefully pay off. Eventually.

—-

Holy balls. I’m soaked in my own sweat from the freaking curtain rod. Who buildsĀ  an apartment building with NO space above the windows to fit a human hand? It’s just not right. And for the love of GOD, Laura, by a rumba!! If we ever, EVER have another date, you’re cleaning up after. AND buying. Double whammy. Suck on that, NUMBER 8!

For all you that enjoy my masochistic afternoon with Ms. Laura Kettle, here is the video.

 

ENJOY THE FRUIT OF MY LABOR!!!

 

 

Love,

 

Mike

 


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